Aerosmith

Angel

I'm alone
Yeah I don't know if I can face the night
I'm in tears
And the cryin' that I do is for you
I want your love let's break the wall between us
Don't make it tough I'll put away my pride
Enough's enough, I've suffered and I've seen the light

*You're my angel
Come and save me tonight
You're my angel
Come and make it alright
You're my angel
Come and save me tonight*

Don't know what I'm gonna do about this feeling inside
Yes, It's true loneliness took me for a ride
Without your love I'm nothing but a beggar
Without your love, a dog without a bone,
What can I do?
I'm sleepin' in this bed alone

You're the reason I live
You're the reason I die
You're the reason I give
When I break down and cry
Don't need no reason why
Baby, baby, baby

*Chorus*

Crossfade "Cold"

Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannnot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you

And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
I never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

TIME TO KILL

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Oh man I am so messed up Last night was so much fun I went to sleep feeling great but. But now I'm so crummy and Life just seems to suck major ass. I just went a whole week feeling great now this again. I seriously am starting to thinking to think I should just move to Alabama sever my connections to everything and just go. I don't think anyone would understand I don't. I wish above all thing now that I didn't have to care about anything anymore. I just would rather prefer to be alone that way I don't have to bother anyone.

Jesse, Flores

PUSHING MYSELF

Damn I'm so tired I just keep on pushing myself more and more. I feel good about how much faster I am then everyone else in my class and in the wieght lifting class. Yet its not good enough I'm afraid I might drive myself to hard I'm not sore but just feel so damn tired I don't want to get up or do anything. I feel so pathetic I have to push myself more and more till I just can't anymore its not worth holding anything back I have nothing to look forward to anymore so I just aswell just drive all my effort into being the best. I won't give up till I am the best I have nothing else to shoot for strive for. Ahh and this waiting is driving me insane damn I always have to look at the quote in my wallet for strength to carry on. Waiting is so annoying and dreadfully boring oh well I have no choice no way around it. Well I guess theres somthing to be happy about since I'm pretty interested in a certian somebody. sshhh don't tell LOL  lates...

Jesse, F 

WHAT A WAY TO LIVE

Everyday now is a mix of bad and goods things. Yet everyday things are getting better aslong as nothing horribly unexpected happends I should be fine. I was always fine tell something horrible happened unexpectedly. I have had this hope of mine for some time now although yesterday I got a boost in faith after reading a statement said by the last pope John Paul II " We must not be afraid, we must rediscover a spirit of hope and and spirit of trust. Hope is empty optimism sprining from a naive confidence that the future will nesessarily be better than the past. Hope and trust are the premise of responsible activity and nurtured in confidence." Pope John Paul II was agreat man he is my idol he was so strong in the sense that he never gave up hope he had lost his mom before he was nine lost his older brother when he was 12 and his father at 21. He was left alone in the world but comforted by his faith in Jesus and the lord. He went through combat training in the polish army then a preist  later he became a bishop thena cardinal then finnaly the Pontiff. He showed the world what true peace and love is. He never shwoed angry nor hate towards anyone he forgave the very man who had shot him. I am so lucky to have been born during John Paul II reign as pope. No other common man could ever achive such greatness as he has. During the days before his death John Paul II spoke of how he prayed for the suffering yet he was suffering himself. His words of rediscovering the spirit in hope has comforted me I hope I don't forget his words. I hope I don't forget that hope is never lost its always there we're just blinded and I will find a way to achive the happiness I want. No more being sad no more sulking over what I have lost for I can't fix the past but try to make a better future for myself. I may never be able to live down my stupidity within my first couple weeks at HKIS due to some friends whom find it amusing to see  me troubled by my stupidity. But time heals everything. I just hope my dreams come true just as how my nightmares did.